Happy holidays lovies! ❤

Christmastime is usually a pretty tough time of the year for me. My family doesn’t necessarily agree with the choices that I make and I truly want to be close to them, but I suffer when I’m in their presence. My younger sister came to visit for the holiday, throwing off my plan to spend Christmas with Mr. Blue’s family where we would have sat around a Christmas tree opening presents, eating good food, and visiting Candy Cane Lane. Legitimately my absolute dream of a Christmas.

Sadly, I’m not quite at the point where I’m able to let go of the chance that things will get better with them, and instead chose to spend as much time with my younger sister as I could. What. A. Mistake. Ended up needing Mr. Blue and Mr. Black to save me from my misery.

Mr. Black has a screensaver on his MacBook that says something along the lines of “trust the process.” I almost didn’t this time around. The journey to them was a winding one, and since I’m being very cautious with my money now, life isn’t quite as simple as it used to be. Luckily, my friends are incredible, and I’m learning how to lean on them more with time. Trust doesn’t come easily to me anymore, but I’m learning to trust my instincts and enjoy the process.

Once Mr. Blue and Mr. Black got me to them safe and sound, I went from absolutely devastated from my day, to the most thrilling time of my life. We visited Casita del Campo in between Silverlake and Los Feliz, didn’t have any time to eat as I came directly from the Westfield in Culver City. Inside of the Mexican restaurant, there’s a little hidden gem in the basement, a blackbox theatre. Now, when I was a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be a playwright and musicals were my poison of choice. I’ve been to large theatres and I’ve seen many great shows, but there’s a special place in my heart for small and intimate spaces. I arrived late, which was frustrating for me as I’m a stickler about being on time, but the show didn’t start until after I arrived. The theatre was absolutely packed! In my tardiness, I ended up needing to walk all the way to the front of the stage to find my seat. A little embarrassing, but ya know, that’s the fun of going to the theatre.

I sat down to the left of Mr. Blue who was left of the center in the second row of four.  The view was incredible! Fruit Cake Follies turned out to be a variety comedy show focused around a Christmas theme. This was the 20th anniversary of partaking in this show and it did NOT disappoint in the least! James Grey created the production and it’s a lovely conglomeration of incredibly talented folks doing what they love and are good at. You can see the intense joy in each person, absolute happiness with what they’re doing. It’s what I aspire to create for myself. A space where creation and acceptance merge.


One piece I particularly enjoyed was the Saucy Doll bit. Saucy Dolls hit the market in 1972 and were an absolute hit  with children around the world. Their claim to fame was a changing face that moved with the turn of an arm. The faces it made were absolutely incredible!

Saucy Doll

The bit related to the Saucy Doll was hilarious! Eric Seppala was the actor for the doll and his expressions absolutely gave me life! Just One Look was sang by Sandra Benton as she rolled Eric’s arm around and Saucy was born. I’d post the video I took, but the laughter from the crowd would completely take away the magic of the moment we were in. It was like being in an incredible magical gay Christmas land.

Inclusiveness is something I’m incredibly passionate about, and I truly feel that allowing people to be their greatest selves in a comfortable and accepting space is important. I deal with worlds of anxious thoughts that barely I know how to struggle through, yet Mr. Blue and Mr. Black are like fathers to me and let me know how loved and wonderful I am. Even when I don’t know how to accept it myself. Everyone should have that and that’s what I saw at the Fruit Cake Follies show, people enjoying themselves as they are, for who they are, without a worry about it not being “normal.” Normality is something that has never made sense to me in a real way.

Is it so hard allowing others to express themselves as differently as they want? We have free will to do our own bidding, yet unconsciously chip away at ourselves into circle shapes to fit into the box we think life has created. I say, if you’re a square, be a square. If you’re a diamond, be a diamond. If you’re a circle, be a circle. If you’re a star, light up the damn place and don’t worry about who’s around to see you shine.

The holidays are all about being with those you love and I feel that life should be about doing the things you love with the people who mean the most to you. For me, that mostly means my friends because my family is a lot more rigid in their thoughts than I turned out to be, but I’m so lucky to have such incredible people around me any way I can have them. This is all a learning process with an incredibly steep curve and I’m chipping away at figuring it out to my best ability. We just need to have a bit more understanding of those who move a little slower at figuring it out for themselves.

Looks like a new tradition has been born for me with the Follies each year and I know that Mr. Blue and Mr. Black will continue to partake with me. Hopefully I’ll see y’all there too lovies!

What places bring out the best in you? I’m finding myself again as I immerse myself back in theatre and writing. Sharing myself so openly is a little scary after such a long time away, but it’s been nice just seeing the way that I’m developing and understanding how much I missed out on. We all deserve a space where we feel free to be ourselves without concern of what that looks like to others, I’d love to know where those are for you.

Thanks as usual for coming along with me for the ride. I always appreciate your time.

Please remember, you’re absolutely incredible, always! ❤ ❤

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